Two Ears, One Mouth: A Guide to Good Listening
Strong relationships require great listening. Unfortunately, this doesn’t come easily for many people.
Here are six simple strategies to help you stay engaged and open-minded while others are talking.
1. Resist distractions. When someone is talking, concentrate on the speaker. Try not to look over their shoulder, or fidget with something in your hands, or run your hands over your hair. If you’re on the phone with someone, the same applies. If you’re clicking around on the Internet, they will hear the interest fade from your voice.
2. If you are not interested, fake it ‘til you make it. The longer you give someone or something your full attention, the more interesting it becomes. Try it!
3. Listen for content over delivery. The world is full of less-than-inspiring communicators… but some of them have darn good ideas! They may require you to be a little more focused and patient, but they deserve your respect nonetheless.
4. Don’t skip ahead. We often rush to judgment, thinking we know what the speaker is going to say next. Notice when you’re doing this, and come back to communication that’s actually occurring in the present moment.
5. Slow yourself down. Not everyone can keep pace! Even if you’re three steps ahead of the speaker in your mind, make an effort to respect the speaker’s processing speed. Don’t finish their thoughts or sentences and never interrupt.
6. Listen with an open mind. Just because something doesn’t fit with your view of the world doesn’t mean it isn’t a valid perspective. Do not rush to dismiss the thoughts and perspectives of other people. Try to hear the ‘whole’ message and consider the beliefs behind it.
Listening well is a learned skill. Train yourself whenever the opportunity arises, and before long, great listening skills will come naturally.
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